(Common Management Errors (105) cont. 2)
Elements of Setting Boundaries (9)
i) recognise the importance of setting boundaries (their role in developing healthy and constructive relationships; critical for building trust; without boundaries you end up agreeing to do things that you don't want to do, been taken advantage of, etc
"...Setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness or a lack of commitment. Instead, it is essential practice for achieving success, (however you define it) both personally and professionally..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2023i
Need to recognise and respect the important of other people's boundaries.)
ii) intention (why are you doing something? Is it because you going to benefit both professionally and/or personally and do you have time to do it. If you are not going to benefit, professionally and/or personally, and/or lack the time to do it, why are you doing it?)
iii) define your priorities (identify what is important to you both professionally and personally as a basis to set your boundaries that are ideally aligned with your values and goals, ie who you are, how you want to live, etc)
iv) learn to say 'no' (it is acceptable to say no to requests that don't align with your priorities (including values and goals) or exceed your capacity; be clear on why you say 'no' and deliver the message positively; be polite in your refusals; consider if it is a temporary or permanent 'no', ie
"...'thanks for thinking of me; however, I am at capacity' closes the conversation. However, saying 'that's a great idea. I'd love to be involved but I don't currently have the capacity. Can I get involved later?' leaves it open for future involvement..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2023i)
v) sets guidelines (let people know when you are available for work, ie outline specific times for work time and non-work, eg times when you are not
- checking e-mails
- using technology
- taking phone calls
- available for meetings, etc
NB set healthy boundaries around social media usage as it can be very addictive)
vi) communicate your boundaries (let all the people you deal with know your boundaries, ie
"...talk to them about when you will be unavailable and how you will respond to work requests outside standard working hours. You want to avoid misunderstanding and ensure everyone is on the same page..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2023i
Request feedback from others on your boundaries as you may have to adjust them.
It is best to start with a few boundaries and build on them; this will allow more time to reflect on the need for the modification, etc.
Also, it is best to start putting in boundaries as early as possible in a relationship
"...by setting boundaries and expectations from the very beginning, everyone knows where they stand, and feelings of hurt, confusion, frustration can be lessened..."
Chantelle Pattemore, 2021
If required be willing to add boundaries.
Be willing to communicate when your boundaries are crossed; when raising your concerns try not to be confrontational. for example, if somebody is messaging you continually, reply to them with a statement like
"...'I can see you really want to get hold of me, but the best thing to do is drop me a message, and I'll get back to you when I can' this gently highlights their behaviour will simultaneously asserting your threshold..."
Chantelle Pattemore, 2021
NB actions speak louder than words!!!!)
vii) be consistent (despite having to occasionally adjust your boundaries, endeavour to stick to them; otherwise, it sends a message that your boundaries don't matter and can lead to confusion; gain some perspective on your boundaries, ie have some but don't let them dictate; have a healthy balance)
viii) build switch-off routines (allocate time for yourself, ie develop routines when you disconnect entirely; prioritise time for a rest, exercise and other activities that will help you recharge
"...such practices help you maintain energy and focus, making establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries it easier..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2023i
During this time engage in activities that increase self-value and self-worth, eg exercise, hobbies, singing, reading, etc)
ix) celebrate your progress (
"...setting and keeping to your boundaries will take effort. You are putting new workplace and life habits in place, so be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress. Boundaries matter and are a critical part of creating a space so you can be your best for yourself and others across all aspects of your life..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2023i
Sometimes need to be prepared to be flexible in handling boundaries and find an acceptable middleground.)