Checklist for Managers: Managing Regret During Change

Some prompts to help the managing of regret during change

1. Understanding Regret

✔️ Recognise that regret is normal during uncertainty and transition
✔️ Distinguish between constructive regret (learning-oriented) and unproductive regret (rumination/blame)
✔️ Remember that regret arises from loss, choice, and unmet expectations

2. Early Prevention of Regret

2.1. Involve People in Decisions

✔️ Provide opportunities for staff input before key decisions
✔️ Offer clear rationale for decisions (why this option?)
✔️ Document and communicate the alternatives considered
✔️ Ensure people feel heard, even if their preference wasn’t chosen

2.2 Clarify Expectations

✔️ Set realistic expectations — avoid overpromising
✔️ Identify potential pain points and communicate them upfront
✔️ Explain what will be gained AND what will be lost

3. Identify Signs of Regret in Staff

✔️ Repeated statements like “We should have kept the old system”
✔️ Hesitation to engage with new processes
✔️ Blame narratives directed at leaders or project teams
✔️ Withdrawal, disengagement, or nostalgia for the past
✔️ Excessive perfectionism or fear of making mistakes

4. Respond to Regret Constructively

4.1. Acknowledge the Emotion

✔️ Normalise regret (“It’s understandable to question this change”)
✔️ Provide space for concerns without defensiveness
✔️ Avoid minimising or dismissing the emotion

4.2. Reframe the Situation

✔️ Shift the conversation from “If only…” to “What now?”
✔️ Highlight what can still be influenced or improved
✔️ Emphasise progress, small wins, and incremental learning

4.3. Support Individuals

✔️ Offer coaching or one-on-one conversations
✔️ Reinforce capability and confidence (“You can handle this transition”)
✔️ Provide training, resources, or additional mentoring
✔️ Check that workload or skill gaps aren’t driving the regret

5. Use Regret as a Learning Tool

✔️ Facilitate reflective questions without blame:

• What would we do differently next time?
• What have we learned?
• What small adjustments will improve outcomes now?
  - Hold no-blame debrief sessions or agile retrospectives
  - Apply insights to future phases or projects
  - Capture lessons learned formally (logs, reviews, evaluations)

6. Harness Anticipated Regret as Motivation

✔️ Use forward-focused questions:

• “What will we regret not doing in 12 months?”
• “If we do nothing, what risks do we face?”
  - Ethically highlight long-term consequences of inaction
  - Pair anticipated regret with positive vision and opportunity

7. Minimise Future Regret Through Good Change Practice

✔️ Maintain transparent communication throughout the change
✔️ Share progress updates, even if incomplete
✔️ Be explicit about trade-offs and decision criteria
✔️ Provide forums for ongoing feedback
✔️ Celebrate milestones to reinforce that the journey is worth it
✔️ Correct course early to avoid bigger disappointments later

8. Model Healthy Regret as a Leader

✔️ Admit past decisions you would improve (“Here’s what we learned…”)
✔️ Avoid blame; focus on shared responsibility
✔️ Demonstrate reflective, growth-oriented thinking
✔️ Show resilience (“We adjust, we learn, we move forward”)

9. After the Change: Prevent Rumination

✔️ Do not allow teams to dwell excessively on “what might have been”
✔️ Redirect rumination to structured reflection
✔️ Encourage future-oriented planning and next steps
✔️ Keep momentum by reinforcing new habits and wins
✔️ Conduct a formal “lessons learned” review to close the loop

10. Personal Manager Self-Check

✔️ Am I rumination-prone or solution-focused right now?
✔️ Am I modelling calm, thoughtful decision-making?
✔️ Am I communicating enough to avoid uncertainty-based regret?
✔️ Am I balancing accountability with empathy?
✔️ Am I supporting my team emotionally, not just operationally?

(main source: Michelle Gibbings, 2025p)