(Natural Human Instinct or Behaviour (9) cont. 4)
4. Gossip

Introduction
Gossip is sometimes called chitchat or rumour; it is a way of communicating, ie gathering and sharing information; a way of bonding and relating to others; generally the focus is negative; used to fill any vacuum on information.
The key functions of gossip:
        - gather and share information (as a basis for survival, food sources, location of dangers or harm like predators, etc)
        - form and maintain relationships (bonding, forming and maintaining alliances and relationships, lubricating friendships (like grooming in other species), establishes reciprocity, so you know who can trust or not, to handle the delicate politics of community living, etc)
        - to make sense of what is going on (providing the most plausible explanation, ie rumour)
Our unique vocal capability, or vocal grooming, allows for reaching more individuals than physical grooming, ie vocal grooming (3:1) and physical grooming (1:1).
Part of vocal capability is capability of language which allowed humans to gather in the largest groups of any hierarchical social primates, ie humans (on average 150 people), chimpanzees (on average 50), etc
Vocal grooming and our instinct for social living, ie sharing information, developing relationships, understanding what is happening, etc, forms the basis for gossip, ie engage in social chitchat. How we use this verbal capability in communications determines our behaviours and organisational life.
Gossiping is usually around important social news:
"...Who's doing what, the latest information about what's going on in the organisation, what other departments are up to, who is coming and going, the normal social use of the community including sports teams, family activities and the like..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
Social nature of gossiping usually revolves around
- 'guess what I've just heard'
- 'you'd never guess what somebody is up to now'
NB
"...66% of our conversations are of a social chitchat nature......The average person spends 20% of their day in vocal grooming..."
Robin Dunbar as quoted by Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
As humans are social animal we tend to live in groups forming coalitions between small numbers of individuals. However, this can have its tensions, eg 'closeness-and-distance' tension, ie who is in and who is out and how to handle this.
Using gossip proactively
"...with our insatiable appetite for talk and social chatter, the challenge is how to use this instinct thoughtfully and deliberately..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
         - gossip test (how do we use gossip to our advantage, ie what do you want them to say afterwards?, ie use the words to drive actions to create the desired future state, etc, project initiatives, etc; how are you going to respond to their concerns?
"...What to do and what you say will significantly influence what the person says, which is a reflection of how they feel......decide what you want them to say, then you would need to act in ways that generate that outcome..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
Be prepared to feed information into the grapevine to influence what people talk about and the opinions they form; be prepared to use it constructively.)
        - develop a network map which shows the degree of connectedness between people, ie the extent to which people interact or how much time they spend together; it will reveal to what extent people are open or constrained in their interactions with others.
(for more detail, see elsewhere in the Knowledge Base)
         - use gossip as a feedback loop (understand what is on the rumour mill and being discussed and not discussed:
"...The grapevine is a reliable source that reveals how people are thinking and feeling. It's worth monitoring and tapping into..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
This can be done formally or informally (if people are willing to share).
        - don't spin (don't overstate good news and understate bad news; this can confuse people; there is a significant loss of trust in those who are spinning information.)

(source: Andrew O'Keeffe, 2019) 

NB Change is about the human experience and this happens in conversations.
This instinct helps explain:
- the informal grapevine, ie word-of-mouth (it is always turned on; it is much faster and more effective than formal methods of communications like e-mails, newsletters, video clips, etc.)
- people regularly talk behind each other's back
- communication is usually an issue in most organisations
- people gather in small groups (usually around 4 in each group) during breaks at large meetings, ie hardly anyone is alone; the reason for this is our vocal capability and group size
"...in a group bigger than 4......we won't be heard and won't hold the attention of a larger group..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
- some people always support each other (especially if they are from the same group, etc)
- favouritism (this can happen when new leaders bring in their own staff; they will have their favourites; favouritism results in different groupings, ie 'in groups', eg favourites (closest to the leader), and 'out groups', eg not favourites)
In-groups
Within organisations
"...There will be a consistent pattern of who supports whom with allies always endorsing each other's ideas and suggestions.....we should reflect on who we are connected to.....whether we are investing in relationships with people who report to us so that loyalty is developed..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
Positive influence of gossip
You can use the gossip grapevine to influence what people think and talk about and what spreads through the informal channels of the organisation.
As it is impossible to stop gossip, you need to find ways to use it to your advantage.
In organisations, managers tend to have the most gossip connections.
"...An average manager has.....7.4 people who they trade gossip with. Individual contributors trade gossip on average with 3.9 people..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
One-on-ones
One-on-ones conversations are an important basis for developing bonding and reciprocity. Furthermore, they facilitate social chitchat, ie social discourse.
Social gathering
Social gatherings are important for engaging in social chitchat, ie where members can freely engage in social discord; examples include informal settings like lunches, morning teas, dinners, social gatherings, eg drinks after work, etc; these gatherings allow people to get to know each other on a personal and professional basis; until you know a person's story, you don't know them; these informal settings encourage more personal exchanges of information:
"...The social discussion will be as significant to the functioning of the team as any formal planning session that precedes it..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
Importance of stories
- why do they work? (they are fundamental to the way we learn and convey information:
"...Our brain is wired with the ability for us to listen and to talk. Prehistoric humans passed information from generation to generation through stories..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
"...they are memorable and achieve that outcome because they contain emotion. We remember a story better than mere facts because we remember how we felt when we heard the story..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
They provide a basis for classifying the situation, ie making sense of it, especially when we face ambiguity and/or uncertainty.
Stories are able to reveal what is really happening:
"...a statement of opinion has little meaning, but then when a story is told explaining the speaker's opinion the listener gets the meaning because it is now concrete..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
Furthermore, stories form part of your identity:
"...if you don't know the organisation stories, it's hard to identify with a group, but once you know the stories then you and the organisation form part of your identity..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
NB It is a commonly held view that we should be dealing with facts in a rational way and that storytelling does not do this. Storytelling is incorrectly thought of as a fabrication, fairytale, infantile, etc.)
- what the principles of a good story?
"...1. At a time and place marker (' last week....')
     2. Is specific - the story explains an event that allows the listener to picture the event in their mind
     3. Involves characters - we can picture the people involved
     4. Resonates and the emotion of the story helps us remember it
     5. It is plausible and if the story purports to be true it must be true..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
NB
"...given our preference to hear and tell stories, our communication is enhanced if we incorporate stories into how we explain our opinions and requests......stories provide meaning that is not available if we communicate by facts alone..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
(for more detail on storytelling, see elsewhere in the Knowledge Base)
Summary
"...Gossip is a social chit chat of group living and is a critical dimension of life as a human. Sharing stories and opinions is part of the natural order..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
Gossip need not be malicious.
Components of gossip
"...1. Gossip is the human form of grooming
     2. Social chitchat is part of a normal, healthy group interaction
     3. We gossip to form and maintain alliances as well as to gain and share information
     4. Factions or cliques in a team are first and foremost caused by a manager showing favouritism to 1 or a few team members
     5. Gossip-size groups explain the dynamics of people gathering in small groups
     6. Tell stories in the natural way to communicate and for a message to be memorable
     7. The gossip test can be used to both influence the narrative and to design implementation of change..."
Andrew O'Keeffe, 2011
In change management, you need to anticipate what people will say and then influence them to chat about your priority topics.