Technique 1.115 Reciprocity (including helpfulness)

Introduction

It usually involves a giver and taker. Both parties benefit, ie that giver feels good with the brain releasing dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin (mood boosting chemicals and neurotransmitters). This can lead to you continually being generous with your time, resources and money.

"...While reflecting on times when you were the recipient of benefits can make you happier, it is reflecting on times when you were the giver of benefits that increases your prosocial focus..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2022e

NB Humans are social animals and we need interaction and connection. This evolved into small networks that involved co-operation and conflict.

Cooperation is underpinned by the concept of social exchange, ie
"...Whereby one person does another person a favour which provides a benefit, and it is expected that this action will be returned in some way......known as the norm of reciprocity. This norm emphasises criticality and obligation of helping those who have helped you, with reciprocal behaviour considered fundamental to how we function socially and morally ..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2022e

Helpfulness (part of reciprocity)

"...how a person helps, who they help, and the frequency of that help varies..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2022e

At times helping can be tiring and lead to exhaustion. This can result in leading you to help others less and increase behaviour that focuses on helping yourself, ie
"...responding to requests to help deplete your energy and ability to regulate your behaviour and control your impulses..."
Klodiana Lanaj as quoted by Michelle Gibbings, 2022e

Your energy levels can be replenished by seeing the benefits of helping others. However, too much helping can weaken this replenishment, ie
"...People helping reach a point of overload where it no longer feels good...... it feels exhausting and unrewarding......even more exhausting if you feel like your helpfulness isn't appreciated..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2022e

Types of helping

- reactive (provide help after being asked)

- pro-active provide help without being asked)

Reactive help is more likely to receive gratitude than proactive; receiving gratitude for the helpfulness makes the giver feel good.

Helpfulness plays an important role in the workplace.

Questions

Some important questions around helpfulness for leaders and staff

1. Leaders

- Are you creating a culture where helpfulness is seen as a positive characteristic?

- Are the expectations on helping equally shared or are you expecting some staff to help more than others?

- Are you noticing if your staff are suffering from helpfulness fatigue?

- How are you recognising and appreciating the staff who are helpful?

- What are you doing to ensure that asking for help isn't seen as a negative, ie a sign someone isn't coping or up to the job?

2. Staff

- Is the help you are offering to your colleagues relevant and wanted?

- In offering this help, are you genuinely seeking to support your colleague?

- Are you willing to ask for help if you need it, rather than seeing it as a sign of inadequacy or weakness?

- Are you grateful for the help your colleagues offer?

- How to best displaying your gratitude?
(source: Michelle Gibbings, 2022e

NB Being helpful and expressing gratitude when you are helped go hand in hand.