(Psychological Safety cont. 6)

Desirable Behaviours (Inclusion Safety)

1. Inclusion Safety (how do I make others feel included?)

i) teach inclusion as a human need and right (approach each other with understanding as fellow human beings; as social animals we need each other)

ii) introduce yourself at the first opportunity (be proactive, ie introduce yourself to those who are new or don't know you;
"...once you break the ice, display warmth and acceptance, a sense of inclusion forms rapidly..."
Timothy Clark, 2022

iii) learn people's names and how to pronounce them (nothing is more personal than a person's name and pronouncing it correctly)

iv) physically face people (when communicating, face people directly when talking or listening; maintain an upright and forward posture; look them in the eyes)

v) listen and pause (listen with intent to comprehend rather than intent to respond; this is done by listening, pausing to reflect, and then responding thoughtfully)

vi) ask twice as much as you tell (asking questions
"...it's an invitation to engage and a form of validation. Telling can be fine too, but if you tell too much, it's self-serving and it signals selfishness, arrogance, and dominance, all which are off-putting..."
Timothy Clark, 2022

vii) meet a person in their physical space (don't make them come to you; rather, go to where they are most comfortable; this sends a clear message that you value them, their time and their inputs; it's a gesture of respect; when people feel comfortable, you will have a higher quality interaction, both intellectually and emotionally)

viii) develop a buddy system (for the new staff, allocate a current staff member to be their personal guide; this will accelerate relationship building, and ensure meaningful interactions to build relationships beyond the acquaintance stage into mutual discovery; encourage network building)

 ix) find common ground (discover people's personal interests and background as a basis for natural bond-building; find areas of common interest; move on from obligatory and perfunctional mode of social exchange into mutual discovery; however
"...Don't probe into personal or sensitive topics, just ask natural questions about background and interests..."
Timothy Clark, 2022

x) avoid comparisons and competitions (we lose the ability to connect if we compare and compete with each other; focus efforts on meaningful connections; identify and recognise others' strengths, talents and abilities; don't be jealous or resentful of others' strengths, especially when they are strengths you may not possess)

xi) create deep bonding opportunities (basis for belonging to a team requires sharing experiences and building relationships; initially staff need warmth and civility to feel comfortable as a basis for developing a sense of belonging; find activities  that encourage individuals to spend significant time together so that the bonding naturally occurs)

xii) define and communicate the purpose and values of your group as you would in an organisation or team (people need to know why the group exists, how it works and what it stands for, ie define and continuously communicate its values, purpose and goals)

xiii) identify negative bias (we all have conscious and unconscious biases; need to have frequent reality checks as they can be very destructive; need to remove negative ones)

xiv) check alignment (continuously check and reinforce a sense of belonging and alignment to the vision, purpose and goals; they both are delicate and dynamic, not permanent)

xv) create connecting rituals (these are distinctive patterns of communication and behaviour to help people connect; they
"...create security and familiarity in unsettling times of change, contrast and surprise..."
Timothy Clark, 2022

Some examples include:
- start each meeting with a inspirational thought
- have regular meals, etc together as a group
- showcase a member each month to recognise their contribution, etc)

xvi) conduct frequent, brief touch points (humans are social creatures who prefer short, frequent interactions rather than long and infrequent ones:
"...It's the frequency that builds and strengthens the connection..."
Timothy Clark, 2022)

xvii) share your story, learn their story (biuld rapport by sharing appropriate background and experiences; be willing to be the first to expose yourself emotionally, ie be vulnerable)

xviii) don't flaunt perks or status symbols (avoid status symbols that create differences and/or division, like office size, parking privileges, compensation structures, etc)

xix) follow through on all commitments (make sure all commitments, including the small ones, happen)

xx) create opportunities to socialise outside of work (this is a way of getting to know and appreciate each more, ie building better relationships that encourages better collaboration at work)

xxi) never hide behind title, position or authority (these are
"...simply artefacts an organisation gives you to get work done. Don't confuse them with your own identity. If you hide behind these things out of insecurity, it creates a barrier to inclusion..."
Timothy Clark, 2022

xxii) avoid self-serving references to status (this implies differences in the value of importance of individuals; aim to create a feeling of  equality)

xxiii) avoid exclusive patterns of social interaction (be democratic with your time and attention; deliberately meet with people for whom you may not have a natural affinity)

xxiv) forbid personal attacks (as everybody makes mistakes, fails, gets things wrong, etc, don't personalise it; treat them as a learning experience; everybody is entitled to respect and has permission to participate:
"...Call out any marginal comments or behaviours that could make a person feel marginalised or disrespected..."
Timothy Clark, 2022

xxv) respond to messages promptly (the timeliness of your response communicates your respect for others; need to be consistent in your response as this communicates inclusion)

xxvi) control non-verbal responses or cues (communication is more about non-verbal than verbal, ie people
"...will read your body language as much as they listen to what you say..."
Timothy Clark, 2022

Some non-verbal cues to communicate exclusion include
    - rolling your eyes   
    - fidgeting or drumming your fingers
    - looking bored or away
    - allowing yourself to be distracted in the middle of a conversation)

xxvii) use appropriate humour as a relief valve (use humour, including self depreciation, to relieve stress and affirm the value of people; however, don't use humour to belittle someone)

xxviii) ask about needs and challenges (generally people need to be asked before opening up about the needs and challenges they are experiencing; give them the opportunity for support)

xxix) ask for feedback and help (often people will not ask for help as they are too proud or embarrassed; asking for help demonstrates
"...two things. First, it acknowledges the fact that you're human and you need help. Second, it gives others a legitimate opportunity to help in a meaningful way, which always serves to strengthen your relationship..."
Timothy Clark, 2022)

xxx) express gratitude and appreciation (when people perform well
"...express genuine gratitude and appreciation. When they try hard, but fails to meet their goals, recognise their efforts with empathy..."
Timothy Clark, 2022)

xxxi) avoid digital addiction and overdose (the digital age has increased ways to connect with some being better than others, eg some connections will energise you with a real sense of inclusion, yet
"...If we connect unwisely and too frequently on social media, it can lead to harmful addiction and overdose..."
Timothy Clark, 2022)

xxxii) re-enforce inclusion daily (as the sense of inclusion is fragile, it needs regular strengthening and constant reinforcement including daily greetings and by saying thank you)