Types of Self-distancing
Introduction
There are 4 types of self-distancing: “…
1. Time: We think about events that are far in the future differently compared with activities that will happen soon. For events in the distant future, we use more abstract terms (e.g., “Paying off my credit card”) compared with near-future events (e.g., “Paying $100 towards my credit card each month”).
2. Space: We use more abstract terms to describe events that occur within a physically near space than events that happen in a space that is further away.
3. Social distance: When we describe someone dissimilar to us, then we use more abstract qualities and descriptors (i.e., increasing the distance between them and us) than when describing someone similar to us.
4. Hypotheticality……, ie likelihood……: We use more abstract words and terms to describe events that are less likely to happen (i.e., events with a considerable distance) compared with events that are more likely to happen (i.e., events with a small distance)…”
Some Processes Involved in Self-distancing
- Shifting: The abilities to rotate or divert our attention to another aspect of a problem or to change our focus from one item to another are very important…...
- Response inhibition: The ability to restrain our initial emotional response to a particular situation helps us to create self-distance. Additionally, by preventing ourselves from acting on our initial emotional response, we can respond differently and more constructively.
- Updating: This process refers to our ability to update the information that we are using and focusing on during a particular situation. Specifically, after shifting our attention and inhibiting our initial response, we can reassess the available information in the current context and decide what remains important and what is no longer valuable.
NB Self-distancing is a tool, rather than a psychological process like memory or perception; it is a tool for use in specific situations for specific purposes.
An example of self-distancing is during a heated argument
When arguing with someone you may feel the urge to attack the other person's character rather than address the topic of the argument. By doing this you may appear to win the argument. However, the long-term consequence is that the other person may feel bitter and hurt such that you have now instigated a poor relationship with them. By stepping away, ie self-distancing, you have instead eased the tension and do not damage the relationship.
Summary
Self-distancing encourages you to step back and observe your thoughts and feeling, much like a supportive friend would.
It can be like a ‘wide-angle lens’
“…It allows us to zoom out from a narrow, magnified experience so that we can see events and experiences as part of a more extensive process…”
The aim is to cool down intense emotions like anxiety, anger or embarrassment so that you can think more clearly. Some examples:
“…In your work
When receiving criticism, imagine it's directed at a colleague you respect, and ask yourself, "What's the useful takeaway here?"
In your relationships
After an argument, replay it as a neutral observer, and ask, "What triggered us, and what could I do differently?"
For personal growth
Picture yourself five years from now, and ask: "What will future me be glad I chose?"
Reflection question: If you were watching this situation like a movie, what would you notice about your reactions?
Simple technique
Next time you need clarity, use your name in self-talk to insert distance……instead of "Why do I feel this way?" try "Why is Alex feeling this way?..."