Technique 1.225      Practising Self-Forgiveness in Change

Introduction

The aim is to help participants release self-blame or guilt from past change experiences and reframe mistakes as valuable learning moments, building psychological safety and resilience for future change.

Workshop Flow

1. Setting the Context

Facilitator prompt:

Change often brings uncertainty, and with it, mistakes, regrets or things we wish we had done handled differently.

This technique is about letting go of self-blame, acknowledging what we’ve learned and moving forward with renewed confidence.

Starter:

  • Take a deep breath in and out.
  • Ask participants to silently identify one situation in a past change where they’ve felt guilt, regret or disappointment.

2. Reflection: The Self-Forgiveness Path

Distribute the Self-Forgiveness Reflection Sheet (below) or show it on screen.

Self-Forgiveness Reflection Sheet

Step

Guiding Questions

YoYour Notes

1. 1. Acknowledge

What happened?

What role did I play?

What emotions arise when I think about it?

 

2. 2. Accept

What can I take responsibility for and what was beyond my control?

 

3. 3. Learn

What did this experience teach me about myself, others or change?

 

4. 4. Forgive

What would I say to a close friend in my position?

Can I offer myself that same compassion?

 

5. 5. Recommit

What new behaviour or mindset will I carry forward into the next change?

 

3. Pair or Small-Group Dialogue

Participants share (to their comfort level) what they learned from reflection.
Prompts for discussion:

  • “What surprised you as you reflected?”
  • “How does forgiving yourself open space for learning or new action?”
  • “What would a team culture that practises forgiveness looks like?”

Encourage listening without fixing: as the goal is understanding, not providing advice.

4. Group Harvest & Reframing

As a group, discuss:

  • What do we, as a team, need to forgive ourselves for in the past change process?
  • What can we now let go of to move forward more effectively?
  • What will we do differentlynext time?

Captures key themes on a flipchart or shared document under the following themes:
- “Let Go Of” list
- “Carry Forward” list

5. Closing

Invite each person to finish this sentence aloud or silently:

“Today, I forgive myself for ___ and I choose to learn ___.”

Materials Needed

  • Reflection sheets or digital copies
  • Pens/sticky notes
  • Flipchart or shared screen for capturing group insights
  • Calm background music (optional)

💡 Optional Add-On: Leader’s Practice

Encourage leaders to:

  • Model self-forgiveness openly (“I made a mistake, and here’s what I learned.”)
  • Include a short “learning and letting go” check-in in team retrospectives.
  • Reinforce that failure is feedback in every change initiative.

(main source: Susan Shapiro, 2025)

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