Some Positive Ways to Influence People

- generosity (give people more than they expect; acts of generosity or kindness is a way of increasing your own and other people's happiness; these acts don't necessarily have to be large, as frequency of this practice is more important; it needs to be developed as a habit
"...It helps us build deeper relationships, and create opportunities to receive kindness from others in return, compounding its impact..."
Seph Fontane Pennock, 2024b)
- novelty (offer something is unique and different; this stimulates the brain to want to know more)
- curation (people like connecting with other influential people, eg Davos in Europe is a place where influential people meet once a year)
- wonder (this is one of the most powerfully desired human emotions)
NB You need to demonstrate that you care and are genuinely interested in them plus able to add value. It involves knowing how to press the 'right buttons' and that you are worthy of effort. For example, is they are an author, read their books and complement them on the books, etc.
Furthermore, start asking something small and easy as lead-in onto something more complicated.
(source: Jon Levy as quoted by James Whittaker, 2024)
Behavioural science of human connection
Doing an activity together like cooking, walking, exercising, etc is a great way to bond.
Need to allow vulnerability to develop and be shared as a way to increase trust, respect, etc. If vulnerability is not appreciated, you lose trust and respect.
Vulnerability loop, ie you expose yourself and it is positively acknowledged by others who then expose themselves and you positively knowledge that, etc.
NB Most decisions are emotional or convenient.
Buyers' remorse, ie after you buy something you have second thoughts, ie wondering if you really need it; if the money could have been better spent elsewhere, etc.
Have trends, ie making progress, rather than specific goals.
Rather than giving advice, ask people for advice. By asking people for advice, you are making them think through the problem and suggest appropriate action. A variation of this involves asking them how they would handle somebody else who has a similar problem.
Authenticity doesn't exist as there is no unified perspective of what authenticity is. The brain has many competing parts and there is no one unified self - it depends upon the circumstances which is the part of the brain dominates and brings out certain behaviours.
"...who you are is a narrative that you believe you are..."
Jon Levy as quoted by James Whittaker, 2024