More on Happiness
Happiness can be very elusive.
Some people confuse happiness with consumerism, ie ownership of materialistic goods, etc and self-worth, like money, power, prestige, etc.
The 3 major elements of happiness are
- satisfaction, ie is based on what you have and getting what you want
- enjoyment, ie part of this involves pleasure
- meaning, ie part of this involves honour; having a purpose in life; source of moral elevation
However, your body has a
"...built-in mechanism to regulate the temperature, as well as levels of oxygen, water, salt, sugar, protein, fat and calcium..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
This is called homoeostasis and it is applied much more broadly, ie
"...to survive, systems tend to maintain stable conditions as best as they can. Homoeostasis keeps us alive and healthy..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
Homoeostasis helps explain why you need increasing dosages of addictive drugs to try and get the same pleasure as the initial dose provided. However, the brain is keen to restore the equilibrium by fighting to neutralise the effect of the addictive drug:
"...As the brain becomes used to continual drug-induced production of dopamine - the neurotransmitter of pleasure, which plays a large role in nearly all addictive behaviours - it steeply curtails ordinary production, making another hit necessary to feel normal..."
Judith Grisel as quoted by Arthur Brooks, 2022
A similar situation applies to your emotion
"...When you get an emotional shock - good or bad - the brain wants to re-equilibrate, making it hard to stay on the high or low for very long......It's why, when you achieve conventional, acquisitive success, you can never get enough. If you base your sense of self-worth on success - money, power, prestige - you will run from victory to victory, initially to keep feeling good, and then to avoid feeling bad..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
This is called hedonic treadmill, ie
"...no matter how fast we run,, we never arrive..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
NB The immediate bliss from a major victory or achievement never endures, ie it is short term.
Money is critical for a functioning society and supporting your family; it is important to relieve the problems of poverty which are sources of unhappiness.
Yet chasing money as a source of enduring satisfaction is not effective.
However,
"...Our urge for more is quite powerful, but stronger still is our resistance to less..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
Your desire to strive for more is understandable, especially as in the past starvation was a possibility. This desire still persists today despite starvation being less of a problem. It is linked with our fixation on social comparisons, ie on material goods, fitness, good looks, etc.
However, success is relative, ie there is a strong desire to be more successful than your peers.
As happiness does not help propagate the species, it is not selected for.
It appears that our natural state is dissatisfaction which is punctuated by brief moments of satisfaction.
"...studies show that self-objectification is associated with a sense of invisibility and lack of autonomy, and physical self-objectification has a direct relationship with eating disorders and depression in women. Professional self-objectification is a tyranny every bit as nasty. You become a heartless taskmaster to yourself, seeing yourself as nothing more than homo economicus. Love and fun are sacrificed for another day of work, in search of a positive internal answer to the question, 'Am I successful yet?'. We become cardboard cutouts of real people..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
Most religions link satisfaction with heaven, ie promise heaven to the believers.
While dissatisfaction is linked with suffering in craving, desire and attachment to worldly goods.
There is a cultural difference, ie
"...as we grow older in the West, we generally think we should have a lot more to show for our lives - a lot of trophies. According to numerous eastern philosophies, it is backwards. As we age, we shouldn't accumulate more to represent ourselves, but rather strip things away to find out true selves - to find happiness and peace.."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
Handling dissatisfaction (3 habits)
i) don't hoard, share (helping other people by sharing your knowledge and wisdom, not accumulating it for just self)
ii) make a reverse bucket list (explore what makes you dissatisfied, and then do the opposite; need to be careful of
"...Making a list of the things you want is temporarily satisfying, because it stimulates dopamine. But it creates attachments, which in turn creates dissatisfaction..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
Instead make a list of things that bring happiness, such as faith, family, friendships, meaningful work, serving others, etc..
"...inevitably, these sources of happiness are intrinsic - they come from within and revolve around love, relationships, and purpose..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
However most people's lists are extrinsic, like outside rewards associated with money, power, pleasure, honour, etc.
These extrinsic things will complete with the intrinsic for time, attention and resources and can undermine your happiness.)
iii) get smaller (this is linked with minimalism, ie downsizing your life to become happier; be in the present; enjoy the smaller treasures/moments of life like sharing a joke, taking a photograph, etc)
In summary,
"...You strive to achieve an elusive goal, because strivers get the goods - even if they don't enjoy them for long. More mates, better mates, better chances of survival for your children - these ancient mandates are responsible for much of the code that runs incessantly in the deep recesses of our brains..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
"...dopamine is excreted in response to thoughts about buying new things, winning money, acquiring more power or fame, having new sexual partners. The brain evolved to reward us for behaviours that kept us alive and made us more likely to pass on our DNA..."
Arthur Brooks, 2022
The secret to satisfaction is managing what we want instead of what we have.
By increasing happiness. You can build more productive habits.
"...teams with happier leaders are more engaged, more loyal and more likely to solve their problems when the boss isn't around..."
Rachel Service as quoted by Tess Bennett et al, 2022
Happy leaders have a greater emotional band-width to help their teams discuss alternatives without the fear of being judged and perform better.
"...Happy leaders are able to win the hearts and minds of their team. They're much more uplifting and motivating. That positive mindset really impacts the energy of the team, particularly in a stressful or crisis situation. We see a lot of links to that and team engagement and productivity..."
Lisa Lurie as quoted by Tess Bennett et al, 2022
However, miserable leaders can be productive, but they risk burning themselves out and alienating their staff.
"...When you aren't happy your team is likely to avoid you or be afraid of you..."
Rachel Service as quoted by Tess Bennett et al, 2022
"...if you are happy, you will feel more optimistic, more curious. It's about the art of the possible you will be more open to others..."
Anita Wingrove as quoted by Tess Bennett et al, 2022
Need to have self-awareness about who you are and how you react under pressure so that you remain balanced; need to know how to reduce stress and regenerate yourself, ie work-life balance, mindfulness, find a circuit breaker, such as going for a walk.
An important part of happiness is celebrating small successes daily.
Need to understand the arrival fallacy (the illusion that achieving a big goal will bring lasting happiness).
Some measures to encourage happiness
- complete a weekly 'done' list that acknowledges everything you have achieved
- diversified your joy portfolio (focusing on personal relationships and learning what brings fulfilment outside your job.
"...cultivating relationships outside of work helps us lower our attachment to work 'needing to be successful' and distributes our contribution across family, friendships and relationships in the community..."
Rachel Service as quoted by Tess Bennett et al, 2022
Have a multi-dimensional life outside work and a sense of personal well-being which includes allocating time for yourself, personal relationships and community).