Authenticity

Introduction

Authenticity or 'instinct intimacy' or 'self-disclosure' is linked with collaborative workplaces and dynamic teams.

It begins with self-awareness, ie knowing who you are - your values, emotions, and competencies - and how you are perceived by others:
"...we're told to bring our full selves to the office, to engage in frank conversations, and to tell personal stories as a way of gaining our colleagues' trust and improving group performance..."
Lisa Rosh et al, 2013.

However, sharing of honest thoughts, feelings and experience can backfire and damage your reputation, alienate employees, foster distrust and hinder teamwork.

A couple of common mistakes when trying to be authentic:

i) where leaders slip (are not self-aware, ie don't know who you are - your values, emotions, competencies, etc; good communication skills are vital for effective self-disclosure; those whose lack of self-knowledge causes revelations to fall flat; several types of leaders often slip in this 'authenticity' situation,  such as oblivious leaders, bumblers and open book types:

    - oblivious leaders (have an unrealistic view of themselves; appear clueless or phony)

    -  bumblers (unable to read colleagues' social cues, including body language and facial expressions;
"...they make ill-timed, inappropriate disclosures or opt out of relationship building altogether..."
Lisa Rosh et al, 2013

This can be most obvious in cross-cultural situations where cultural misunderstandings can occur.

     - open book (talk endlessly about anything, and as a result staff don't trust them; aggressively familiar; show no discretion, tact, diplomacy, etc)

 ii) poor communicators, some examples include inscrutable leaders and social engineers:

      - inscrutable leaders (they
"...have difficulty sharing anything about themselves in the workplace, so they come off as remote and inaccessible and can't create long-term relationships..."
Lisa Rosh et al, 2013)

      - social engineers (they don't share instinctively and have difficulty reading social cues; they encourage self-disclosure from others but not from themselves).
NB Be aware that even
"...the most self-aware, talented communicators err in how, when, or to whom they reveal a personal story..."
Lisa Rosh et al, 2013)

Best Practice in Self-disclosure (7 steps)

i) be self-aware (build a foundation of self-knowledge, ie need to know who you are, where you come from, where you're going and what you believe in; test your comfort zone and reflect on your values, philosophies, beliefs, assumptions, biases (including unconscious ones), etc; consider events and people who have shaped you, ie personal and professional including successes and failures plus lessons learnt from them)

ii) seek feedback (encourage feedback from all sources like 360 degree review - for more details, see elsewhere in the Knowledge Base)

iii) communicate cautiously (
"...let the task at hand, along with environmental cues, dictate what to reveal when..."
Lisa Rosh et al, 2013)

iv) consider relevance to the task (need to
"...choose the substance, process, and timing of revelations to further the task at hand, not to promote themselves or create purely personal relationships......Team development efforts often fail because they tried too hard to foster intimacy rather than focusing on task-relevant disclosure and social cohesion..."
Lisa Rosh et al, 2013.

The aim of self disclosure at work should be to build trust and encourage better collaboration and teamwork, not nearly to make friends; need to check that sharing personal information will improve the job at hand, ie will staff have a better understanding of your thinking and rationale?

If our aim is to develop a better rapport with staff, there are better ways to accomplish this than self-disclosure, eg bonding over a sporting team, a new movie, favourite restaurant, etc.)

v) keep revelations genuine (don't fabricate, make up, exaggerate narratives because when misrepresentations are discovered, they can do a lot of harm; focus on real stories)

vi) drive to understand organisational and cultural context (people from individualistic societies, like United States and India are more likely to self-disclose than people from collectivist societies like China and Japan; need to understand national and organisational cultures that you are working in, ie talk with respected insiders about how people operate and what level of candour is expected; understand the meaning of non-verbal responses)

vii) delay or avoid a very personal disclosure (remember
"...Intimate stories strengthen relationships; they don't establish them. Sharing too much personal information too quickly breaks all sociocultural norms of behaviour, making one appear awkward, needy, or even unstable......You first need to have spent enough time with them to develop a foundation of trust and to learn organisational norms. First develop common objectives, delineate goals and roles, and demonstrate credibility and trustworthiness through your work..."
Lisa Rosh et al, 2013.

NB Workplaces will differ on the appropriateness of self-disclosure.