Feedback (positive vs negative)
Introduction
As your brain is hardwired to focus on the negative, negative feedback has a greater impact than the positive. This means you will spend more time ruminating on the negative feedback and are more likely to remember it.
"...Research shows that negative events stimulate us more and produce more rapid responses. This hardwiring is evolutionary. In the past, when we needed to worry about environmental threats (ie something coming to kill us and eat us), being more attuned to adverse events was a usual survival tactic. However, even though we adapt and evolve, this biological response remains. You notice negative stimuli more than positive stimuli and respond more rapidly, emotionally and physically..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2022
Also, in a negative state you are more likely to have an unfavourable response to someone else's behaviour towards you.
Ways to handle this negative spiral
i) understand what triggers these emotions
ii) acknowledge your emotions (accept how you feel and choose what to do next)
iii) get deliberate (focus on what you can control and where to direct your energy)
iv) embrace the uncertainty (consider your options for experimentation and learning)
v) reframe the game (when considering the situation, focus on the positives and what you are grateful for)
v) take time out (give yourself a break; practise self-care and self-compassion; socialise with others)
vi) be authentic (stay true to your values; drop the comparison game)
When receiving feedback, you need to consider
- intentions of the person providing the feedback
- expertise the person providing the feedback
Realising that not all feedback carries the same relevance and importance of intent for the provider of the feedback sssists in getting perspective.
"...when the feedback is delivered with good intention and from somebody with valuable knowledge to share, you want to dig into the learnings and generate your insights..."
You should only take notice of feedback from people you respect.
Michelle Gibbings, 2022
Remember
"...feedback often tells you more about the person who is giving it than about you..."
Stephen Covey as quoted by Michelle Gibbings, 2022
Feedback has consequences and you need to be aware of them, ie promotion, etc.
If you are providing feedback, you need to ask yourself
"...- Is your feedback intended to help or hinder?
- If the person was standing in front of you, would you use these exact words?
- Does the feedback matter?
- Is the feedback generally designed to help the person improve or intended to make you feel better about yourself and your experience?
Michelle Gibbings, 2022
The words you use are important, ie choosing constructive words of encouragement or destructive words which can cause despair
Forgetery
"...It is the place where are all unhelpful and useless feedback went..."
Michelle Gibbings, 2022
Some Ways of Handling Negative Feedback
(source: https://infograph.venngage.com)