37. Conflict Resolution

Introduction

Conflict management is something that many individuals shy away from as it is inherently uncomfortable for most of us, both personally and professionally. However, learning to effectively handle conflict in a productive, healthy way is important in change as conflicts, disagreements, etc will arise with people having differing views on how to achieve things.

Need to handle conflicts effectively as they arise and find a course of action that will yield the best outcome, ie negotiations (attempting to reconcile each party's interests), litigation (use of legal power), mediation (using a trusted independent party to facilitate the process), walking away and accepting status quo, etc; different actions are not mutually exclusive and can be pursued simultaneously; dispute resolution sometimes requires both a power-based (litigation) and an interest-based approach (negotiations/mediation).

"...The decision to litigate should not be taken lightly, and the power of negotiation (and mediation) should not be underestimated. Should pursue litigation only as a last resort, stay focused on the pursuit of negotiation, underlying interests and the goal of preserving and strengthening relationships..."
Deepak Malhotra, 2012 .

Some important strategies include

i) don't ignore conflict (don't pretend it doesn't exist and hope it will resolve itself in its own time and way - generally this will make the situation worse; need to address the conflict in a positive, tactful and diplomatic way
"...Ignored conflicts have a tendency to fester over time and reappear at inopportune moments, so do (everyone) a favour and address conflicts when they occur, nipping a potentially toxic situation in the bud as soon as you recognise it..."
Sonia Krakoff, 2022)

ii) keep communication lines open (need to ensure that there is no miscommunication nor misinformation, ie
"...keep working to clarify your perspective and understand the other side's point of view..."
Deepak Malhotra, 2012)

iii) use an independent party to mediate (use a mutually-trusted third party to serve as a go-between
"...Mediators can facilitate information exchange, vouch for good faith efforts and propose ways to resolve the dispute. Third parties can also help provide a reality check..."
Deepak Malhotra, 2012)

iv) clarify what the issue is (need to get all the facts to help determine what the real issue(s) is/are; some questions can help with this
"... What are my true underlying interests? How can I best achieve them? how much am I willing to pay just to be able to say that I won? It's important to recognise that when you lose sight of your interest, you lose the possibility of negotiation..."
Deepak Malhotra, 2012)

v) meet with each party separately (find out
"...How each individual is perceiving the situation? What needs are not being met? What does each party see as an appropriate resolution? Make sure all parties involved understand that you are acting as a partial mediator; let them know they can feel comfortable to share sensitive information..."
Sonia Krakoff, 2022

Need to understand each party's cognitive biases (for details see elsewhere in the Knowledge Base).

The aim is to get all parties ready for a joint meeting.

vi) after talking with each party separately, bring them together to talk (the aim is to
"...hash out their differences in a neutral environment. This is the time for brainstorming, active listening and being open to different perspectives - the goal is to come to a common understanding of what the problem is, what role each individual is playing in the conflict, and what possible solutions might be..."
Sonia Krakoff, 2022

Start the meeting by checking that each understands the others' perspectives, including outcomes.)

vii) identify a solution (once each party have a better understanding of the others' perspectives, start to explore potentially-satisfactory solutions and how to get there; sometimes with a better understanding of each other's point of view, the conflict can be resolved through facilitated, open dialogue; otherwise, it may require more time and effort to achieve a solution, ie put aside differences and preferences so that common ground can be found - this may require compromises to achieve an agreed solution.)

viii) continue to review, ie monitor, evaluate and follow-up (
"...Just because a solution has been identified and addressed doesn't mean it (conflict) will go away..."
Sonia Krakoff, 2022

Need to regularly check that everything is progressing satisfactorily, ie steps identified to reach a solution are being followed and/or do they need modifying; need to check  there is no lingering tension that still needs to be handled; be pro-active if needing to change or modify or improve the solution so that all
"...parties readjust expectations, identify alternative solutions, and continue their dialogue to create a positive and healthy work environment..."
Sonia Krakoff, 2022)

Legal Advice

You need to understand your lawyer's roles and responsibilities
"...Your lawyer's role is to educate you and advocate for you........and should not be - the primary decision-making on your behalf......you must understand not only your rights but also your options......the fact remains that lawyers make their living by giving legal advice and pursuing litigation. As a result, your incentives will never be completely aligned with those of your lawyer. Furthermore, your lawyer'Withs expertise is probably restricted to the domain of the law. It is incumbent on the disputants to educate themselves about other ways of resolving their differences, such as through mediation or negotiation..."
Deepak Malhotra, 2012